主题：趣谈英语

英语里的vocabulary很多都能作两种或多种不同的字面解释，甚至能在句子中因文法问题而产生其它的意思。我们常常遇到上述情形的简单字汇有很多，如：right（右边，对的）；left （左边，剩余）；green (青色，新手，初步的)；blue (蓝色，忧郁，高贵，乱花钱)；hose (紧身裤；管)；letter (信，字母)；minute (分，记录) ;second (第二，秒)；saw (见，锯，谚语格言)；organ (风琴，器官)； ground (土地，理据，原因); foundation (基础,建立)；relations (关系，亲戚)；fidelity (忠贞，音响的保真度)；polish (擦亮，波兰人) ; 等等等等。。。。正因如此，往往使我和一些英语水平不是太好的朋友容易误解。当然，英语听力差的也时会闹出笑话。看看下面这位朋友。。。

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. 
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well 
until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he
could arrange a divorce for him "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend
on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: Does either of you have a real grudge?"
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof.
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me She buy a bottle at drugstore and put
             on shelf in bathroom.I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

再来一个

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had
never been married. She was admired for her sweetness, her
innocence and kindness to all.
One afternoon the Pastor came to call on her and she showed him
into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while
she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ，the young minister noticed
a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with
water, and in the water floated, of all things, a contraceptive
condom!!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat about
mundane matters.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water
and its strange floater, but soon it got the best of him and he
could no longer resist asking.
"Miss Beatrice", he said, blushing, "I wonder if you would mind
telling me about (ahem) this..er..object?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes, that!" she replied excitedly, "Isn't it wonderful? I'm
not normally superstitious, but I was walking through the Park a
few weeks ago and I found this little package on the ground. The
directions said to place it on top of the organ, keep it wet and
that it would prevent the spread of disease. And do you know - I
haven't had the flu all Winter!"

Key Word  -   Organ